Have you ever had one of those days (or one of those lives) when you felt as if there was a huge never-ending hole right in the middle of your soul?
This hole is so big, so vast, and so deep it just echoes with loneliness and despair. Some people call it anorexia, bulimia, chemical dependency, abuse, depression, isolation, and self-hatred. There are those that try to fill the hole with food, drugs, violence, denial, work, school, sex, or self-mutilation. But nothing can fill this hole. Everything seems to just make the hole that much bigger. You fear being totally consumed by this nameless vacuum within yourself. You try to talk to family and friends; they just look at you with this glazed look in their eyes as if you are unhinged, then lecture you on what they think you need to do. You talk to professionals and they are more interested in their clinical trials of new medications and whether you fit the necessary protocols.
You are screaming inside….my God help me, someone just reach out and take my hand before it is too late. Please just one person listen to me without judging me. Crazy thoughts race through your mind, what if no one else knows what you are talking about, what if no one wants to take the time to listen to everything you need to say? What if you tell someone and they just don’t care or they belittle you or tell you to “walk it off.”
Most likely that huge hole in your soul has been created by YOU. It may have started out as self-doubt or low self-esteem and slowly spiraled into self-hatred, rejection, self-pity, and all those ugly hurtful things we say to ourselves all day every day. I am not saying other people in our lives have not contributed to this sinkhole, but you have to admit we’re the ones that bought into whatever nonsense they have been telling us. When someone tells you are wonderful you can believe or not, that same principle applies when people insult you. Where is it written, “well so and so said it so it must be true”? It does not work that way. It’s all up to you!
To fill this crater you have to roll up your sleeves and be ready for HARD work. You have to be willing to look deep inside yourself and realize you have to find your true self and then nurture that with every ounce of energy you have. It’s long nasty unpleasant work but it has to be done to fill in the crater. I have yet to read anything in any books about these things being fixed with Fairy Dust and Magic Wands.
You are the only one that can fill the hole. Too many times we look outside ourselves thinking “maybe if I am with this person can make it better” or worse if you take this drug then you won’t feel the pain. Oh yes, you will and you’ll be hung over and miserable too. And worse drugs, alcohol, and starvation cause wrinkles and weight gain! (talk about defining moment YIKES!)
Every little issue you come across you have to deal with it head on. Sure it may be uncomfortable or may hurt like the devil, but it has to be faced. The hole is not going to go away. Find a problem, face the problem then find a constructive way to handle it (Constructive means positive. Destructive is what you have been doing to get where you are now….HOLE AND ALL) these problems are not going to go POOF and disappear when you wake up tomorrow morning.
You have to face the truth of your past, the truth of your present, and the truth of your future. You do not have to like it; you just have to face it. Only then can you CHANGE IT. The past is just what it is the past; the present is right now this minute. The future is an hour away, tomorrow, next week etc… So when you talk about changing your future just change what you will do in an hour. It’s a start, right?
DO NOT CONTINUE SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS. That means no drugs, no booze, no binges, no abuse, no self-mutilation, and more importantly NO MORE EXCUSES – from this moment on….never again. Do not worry about disappointing or failing other people. Just please do not disappoint or fail yourself. You deserve happiness, respect, and love from everyone starting with yourself
Brenda Minge, MRP, MNLP
The Mind Body Spirit Connection is very real indeed. My practice takes this into account to provide deeper holistic healing through reiki, guided imagery, relaxation hypnotherapy, NLP, EFT/TFT, and life coaching. I also encourage self-care. You can’t serve others from an empty vessel. If you are always giving of yourself, you soon run out of you!
My 40+ years of experience in healing includes working with clients of all ages coping with physical, emotional, and trauma-based issues. Healing is my purpose. I work closely with healthcare providers, major medical centers, and cancer centers worldwide as my therapies bring relief to those dealing with: Cancer and side effects of chemo/radiation, Chronic pain including back/neck pain, migraines, arthritis and MS, Post-operative healing, PTSD, Moral Injury, Anxiety, Depression, Insomnia, Sports injuries, Peripheral neuropathy, Fibromyalgia, Balancing Chakras Meridians and Sensory Systems